A boy, as expressed to himself, by his shadow.

Madness, madness; disappear
We left our hands near the lake
Among a bed of roses still resting upon the others'
Kept my mouth shut
With big red x's after I failed to say what I meant
Kicking the dirt out of my nails
Couldn't seem to worry enough
Even though I couldn't eat
...I couldn't sleep
Couldn't see my shadow
For miles and miles
Just standing out there
Wishing away the days
Stay up those nights
Were you near?
Were you hear?
Cause you never called
You never called.
Just traces
& clues
For the paranoid detective
The one not solving anything
I use to love the mystery
But I've been long without the answers
And now I need a chance
I need a chance
Or I'm gonna give up
And we're never going to have a hope
To solve a damn thing.

Discord Blues.

Rapid feelings in my veins
Dripping, drawing, painting, playing
Exploding out in sunbursts
On an electric mirror
Distributing light
Through the reflections
Of shadows you convey
Pure self:
Told me to be quiet
As I sat stretched out
On the sunset
Miles and miles
Of decay
Reaching for the stars
When the night fell
I couldn't complain
About the cold
Feeling so light
Under the presence of the moon
Telling my presence
To be consumed
In the configurations of constellations
The water beneath the ground
Biting at my feet
Bare and plain
Dirtied and confused
In a trance
I saw heavens cascade in the purest energy
Beneath the northern lights
Beneath the northern lights
Aliens drawing
Space and time
Disfigured by the translations
They led me to mediations
Beyond my eyes
To the valley of death
The fire of life
Burning up the crusades
Long past
Forgotten patterns on the walls
Hollowed and shouting the echos
Of those haunted
Those eternal
All that live on forever
In truth.

Words of worship from mt. Olympus.

Standing atop the snowy mountain
Watching the reflecting pools below
People scurrying
Like rodents
From place to place
Trap to trap
Locking in conversation
Ignoring the attack
Stood in circles
Made it easy for the vultures
I'd see the shine of their talons
Before a quick singular gasp
And off to be plucked apart in a nest
Not far from me
Hearing their calls
Prayers and sacrifices
Bleeding out as they're breathing in
Begging for forgiveness
From the false prophets
The clenched teeth
& the tethered lies
If you could distill the white of their eyes
Into a pure white ink
Write with most sincerity
The honest apology
Your forgiveness
Would be complete
You're rationale unweighted
By uncertainty
In leaving
All of this behind
To the next best thing
The perfect new life
I'd see it
In the vulture's egg shell
No imperfections
Oval and static
Pure and true
Until cracked & broken
Boring life
In blood
To taste blood
And waste blood
All taking it's; sweet time.
& begging for more
Before we die.

he knows.

I say, "no"
Please, "no"
Don't stop him
He's trying
Just once more for feeling
He's good
He's real
He's fitting
To his own cloth
No one must realize
What is real
And most unforgiving
Just lacking
Self assurances
It's pain
It's blush
It's scary
I want to find this:
"Feeling"
I work; I try
I'm reeling
From the false
Sentiments
And security
A landslide
Oh, "it must be"

CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP.

I can see the reason
Close minded after region
Told by the coming father
"You're not my young"
"You're not mine"
Trapped in ballrooms
Dancing on the floor
Like we're standing straight up
Couldn't carry on a conversation
With my shiny raincoat
So I took to drinking
Cigarette smoke
Against a chandelier
Made me feel safe
For what it was
Until I had a premonition
Saw the aftermath
Of all equaled hollowed parts
Left shattered on the dance floor
Like a fallen disco ball
Police storm the gates
As the crows decended on the deserters
Eyeballs out and sucking my stomach in
Dying with dignity
Like a centerfold for cheap magazines
Hands stained with the blood
Of the party guest punch
The host dosed in gasoline
Running the floor
Crumples into a burst of flames
Attractive girl drugged and violently pounding at her chest
Says: "What a great party."
In her last breath

The idealist.

Trick
Slick
Sonofabitch
Looking for an easy cure
Staying close to home
While running away
That warm light
Burning at his coattails
Smiling in the sunshine
Blowing smoke out of parked cars
Trying to settle down
While moving on
Sack on his back
And a bottle in his hand
Lonely train tracks
Filled with people
Trying to offer up some advice
Under their breath
While telling stories of taking chances
Littered like trash
In these bleached summer days
Showing shadows for who they are
A jacket on a skeleton
Small men speaking tall
They've had more than a few
Rope swung into the open water
Just to hit the shallows
Bruised and bloodied
Crawling up
To run home
Like some kind of joke
That hurts
Oh, it really hurts.

ghost money.

80's resurrected like christ at a used car salesman's convention
Tearing the wings off of speckled flies with tobbaco stained teeth
Yield to the east
Yield to the west
Then turn
A false feeling of security while getting sexually molested
By a cheap clown in the parking lot
On the way to my car
Minivan with two kids
And a wife expecting
Pulled flower from the palm of my hand
Broke at the root and bled
Shatters like glass
Sounds like summer 08'
Breaking in my shoes
While breaking someone's jaw
Heard the speakers blow out
Before the band even started
Yelling and screaming
What the hell happened
Post conversion.

Raccoon girl.

Like an illustration in a fantasy story
Sought that castle in the clouds
With it's porcelin prisms & unending arches
Walk the walkway like a galliant figure of glory
A knight returning from a victorious quest
Rescued the damsel - slayed the dragon
Worn armor and bloodied hands
Blackened eyes and weakening smile
It's not this path that enlightens me
Makes me certain that truth in honor prevails
But the murky middle of my past
Chanced upon a lone traveler
Profiteering his own carnival
Magic mirrors and premonitions
Of the future: love & death
His mock mustache and towering hat
Dispelling misgivings with the wave of a wand
Spoke in promises; not honesty
And one look on
Saw the day I'd die
The trials I faced
Chasing raccoon girl down the unplaced path
Leaving a trail of blood behind me
Heard the laughter in the smoke
Annoyomous and vicious
Rushed in a haze
Violent fever
That left me faint
Even as I reached the throne
Where I knelt for the king
As he gently tapped my shoulder with honor
I grabbed the blade - bare hands -
And cut my head off.

The spectrum of dreams.

Flashlight on the glass
Until you couldn't guess no more
Bite your nails & cross your arms
Fell back on the curtains
Took your fall
Left the chaos in leaving
And went back to carry on
Victim of your own conviction
Solving a mystery that's a secret to keep
Whisper the answer to an audience in tears
Boos that were rehearsed
A tragedy in the making
For months and years
You've perfected your incorrectness
Unabashed from the snarling teeth
Put a rose on your performance
And spit on the ground
As you bow
Swept away by a janitor's push.

Lost films.

No more patients
Just empty glasses
Cold sterile whites
And faceless strangers
All against the wall
Seething as you walk by
No different than before
A common stride
Let's a breath go
A ghost in the cold
Tell tale sign
There's never letting go
Bit my lip
Till the last bled spit
Trying to go to bed
Never mention this again
Confusing as the letters
I wrote to myself
Dear, Self
How do I really feel?
P.S. you need help.